A Softer World Below is a list of all the comics in our archive. We started the comic in Feb of 2003, as a weekly comic, though our schedule is more frequent now. All the comics on this list are available as prints, EXCEPT for those comics followed by a red not available as print. You will also notice that the availability is listed on the comic pages themselves, between the 'back' and 'next' buttons as you navigate the comic. If the comic you're interested in is unavailable, it means we don't have the original picture for that comic, and so can't duplicate it in a high enough resolution to look good as a print. It is sometimes difficult to keep track of hundreds of photos. Just click Buy this print on the comic you want, and it'll take you to the order form, already filled out. Add it to your shopping cart, and repeat as needed. The prints are 16" wide on doubleweight matte paper 1: Are my parents ever coming home? 2: There had to be an answer 3: what I did for love 4: just go 5: care to explain THAT one? 6: but I do 7: darling it's better 8: one last desperate hope 9: She was so fluffy 10: I though for sure I'd never have to pay 11: I could never deny her anything 12: oops 13: happy mother's day 14: it wasn't that bad, really 15: I miss her 16: like, totally! 17: he had a trustworthy smile 18: go, emily, go! 19: kids everywhere are so excited 20: quiet kisses are so hardcore 21: changing of the guard 22: oh, what do I do? 23: wil wheaton! OMG - not available as print 24: intelligent black eyes 25: an amputee or ... something else? 26: shrapnel 27: while you count clouds 28: marriage club 29: Is it a boy or a girl? Maybe. 30: This is what frustrates me - not available as print 31: in the UK they say nappies 32: smiling fights the lonely monster 33: does he even clean his own hair? 34: never slapped five with god - not available as print 35: hold what you've got 36: birds gotta fly 37: true dreams 38: I can contain it, if I have to. 39: I wasn't sure which cake you wanted 40: Meet me in the street. 41: I used to want to plant bombs, the night of the prom. - not available as print 42: cars that hover and dads who come home 43: we've been good, but we can't last 44: seek release - not available as print 45: seek release, boy - not available as print 46: You were always laughing 47: I wish I was never born! I hate you! 48: I smile more when I belong 49: the ravages of puberty leave nobody unscathed 50: the ravages of puberty leave a few unscathed 51: you have a nice living room 52: is there something wrong? 53: you fucked it up 54: history cutlets 55: what about their friends? 56: but nobody says no to me 57: no, honey, you look fine 58: really, I am glad the romance is gone 59: But I never told him about your best selling romance novels. 60: I ain't your pal. 61: I'm here for ART, sir. 62: you'll be someone you wouldn't understand 63: like she's going anywhere 64: thank you for being a friend 65: fool me once, shame on you 66: I wake up in long term relationships 67: long overdue - not available as print 68: serious inquiries only 69: when I was young I believed in gutter balls 70: My mother knew all the words, word for word. 71: and from the pewter gifts she gave every christmas. 72: Don't you have anywhere else to be? 73: She's never too tired. 74: Ask her not to wear those army boots, though. 75: for jeff rowland 76: I miss city life 77: when there's no more room in pigeon hell... 78: they said they'd call 79: and you'll look stupid then! 80: Terrorism delays vote, kills. 81: well, then by your argument, 1 in 5 people are whores 82: good game 83: rawr! 84: don't you cry. 85: I've got poodles, yeah, I've got pomeranian gladness in my heart! 86: Every petal an accusation, every bumbling bee a pointing finger. 87: Now we can go back to living in sin in peace. 88: but when it comes to being loved, she's first - not available as print 89: Evening, officer! 90: Goodnight, mom. 91: rules are rules! 92: we will have a spare room again, and mankind is safe! 93: and i slept well 94: turn that frown upside-down 95: I'm coming. I'm coming. Wait til the next commercial. 96: you have a beautiful smile 97: I'll make you proud, Dad! - not available as print 98: I hear scratching all night 99: AND socks 100: I cannot kiss you and I want to. 101: jiggly milky doom 102: plz don't leave me! 103: i hear him talking during the comercials, alone, arguing. 104: I wished I was a little bit taller. 105: and on Tuesdays I'll be straight, and Thursdays I'll be gay. 106: maybe 1996 was 107: I'm sorry I was angry 108: I don't want to hear your voice around here no more - not available as print 109: who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? YOU DID MOTHERFUCKER 110: my PIECE 111: ....... 112: YOU'RE a euphemism 113: Glitter death. (like crib death, but prettier) 114: handjob susan, private eye 115: Welcome to the Terrordome. 116: you're up early... hello? 117: what we talk about when we talk about love 118: but old people just grow lonesome 119: Is this cold? 120: what would they do with their freedom? 121: even I know that 122: recidivist: yes 123: I also collect stamps. 124: this is Emily and she is so pretty 125: This is lisa and she does not have a website 126: this is Maggie and she is tough tough tough 127: your machinery is too much for me 128: and the saved 129: we all float down here 130: i am too young to be a granny 131: WHAT 132: yes 133: Oh man. What could happen next? 134: also, maybe you could brush more - not available as print 135: can you imagine how disdainful they'll look? 136: WE CAN AFFORD NO MORE DISTRACTIONS 137: you make my heart stop 138: why not smile? 139: she would have wanted this last, unending dance 140: everything will be okay, i'm here 141: the resolution doesn't matter 142: i also do weddings 143: good luck! 144: masturbation as therapy 145: love will light up my room 146: i know it in my heart to be true 147: macaroni and glitter 148: SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND WHEN I AM AWAY FROM HER I MISS HER - not available as print 149: pawn shop tutorials 150: smell you later 151: my dad's a laugher 152: Remember when we used to have sex? 153: yes your wings are beautiful. yes they shimmer. god. 154: maybe tomorrow i'll want to settle down 155: and there were some bridge tokens too - not available as print 156: dad thinks that's funny I guess 157: nobody gonna wesley snipe me 158: ladies, please. One at a time. 159: make your own luck my ass 160: I paid for her. She's mine. 161: I will never look at stars the same way 162: not... not that we need it. 163: what if people don't want my help? 164: get well soon 165: A taste of the orient! HOT 166: now it's a journal comic? Boring. 167: it just wasn't reasonable 168: he's really sweet 169: oh, maureen 170: and maybe I keep adding to the list - not available as print 171: she says, what, now should be different? 172: worms 173: filling barbie's corvette with manure 174: I guess you were my first boy wonder 175: don't be so foolish 176: Tough break, kid. 177: but you get free ink cartridge refills 178: twice at least 179: pookums still loves ME though - not available as print 180: it's a coverup tatt, as I don't love Amy anymore 181: they don't know what they're missing 182: at least he has a father 183: or maybe i should get a job 184: try this at home 185: I don't mind paying. It's worth it. 186: nice girls don't - not available as print 187: shellfish? again? 188: and i don't want to be alone 189: what a t-shirt idea! - not available as print 190: flush one pill, three times daily - not available as print 191: i can't remember what that means 192: miracles bring tourists 193: my garlic breath is unprofessional is it? 194: even after we're done 195: it is worth setting off metal detectors 196: ...... 197: an eyeball should never have sand on it, even one that big 198: another bathroom break 199: or, as I like to call it, my wedding 200: fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole 201: wee miss you 202: tell me another one 203: I spy with my little eye 204: never in the same room as myself 205: you'll never guess! - not available as print 206: and don't tell your father we did this. he'd divorce me. 207: now let's go haunt the fuck out of Jeff 208: this resort has no egg nog 209: turn toward the camera and smile smile smile 210: oh, haha, microchip babies! what a hoot! what a stretch! 211: vacations don't have to end, they aren't like love affairs 212: oh no, is that lipstick on my collar? 213: we'll need to find you a new pet name i guess 214: you think you're so smart but I've seen you naked 215: I miss you 216: a boyfriend who doesn't enjoy horror movies? good riddance. 217: too little too late, creepy 218: because, uh, you might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd? 219: We can read out loud to each other, while we're getting ready! 220: sometimes i get so excited i throw up 221: to die would be an awfully big adventure 222: did she think we forgot since last easter? 223: there were like thirty scooters in that ice cream truck - not available as print 224: sooner or later it comes down to fate 225: I couldn't stop smiling in the back of the police car. 226: this place makes me an animal, I will not die in here 227: we buried truth under playgrounds 228: another mario 3 tournament tonight, ladies? 229: we cannot have freedom without wilderness 230: We will hang your dirty uniform from our antenna like a pirate flag. 231: also, tell them I'm sorry 232: I don't care what Proust said. Fuck you. How about that. 233: or they better fucking not 234: mistakes aren't always regrets 235: saying your plans out loud is a good way to hear god laugh 236: you have your mother's eyes 237: We're both going to wake up in Dallas, but only I will be free 238: that's how we keep going. we make the best of things. 239: you might start wearing clothes around the house 240: it was like being high. nobody wanted to be around me. 241: please be a common word, at least 242: I wish I were close with my mother 243: heartache to heartache we stand 244: didn't mom tell you? 245: I used to say this when we had oatmeal, too. 246: the one inch punch 247: Sorry, it wasn't what I was expecting. 248: My doctors note would just say I'm happier. 249: Hewwo? 250: Athiests are so smug, but church where the pussy at. 251: famous last words? 252: Pop married his job. 253: Ugh, and everyone here LOVES Dinosaur Comics. 254: No, don't go in the basement! 255: or kittens 256: the same way I feel after my dreams of flying 257: no jury will convict me 258: out back is where the toes are 259: i feel safe 260: It makes sense on paper. 261: Just one. 262: I will never feel stupid again. 263: - 264: I would die without you? Seriously? 265: These marshmallow ghosties don't have time for your ennui. 266: thirty-seventy, really. 267: Is this about your operation? 268: hurry christmas, hurry fast 269: fifteen points! 270: well, and playing with myself a bit too. - not available as print 271: doing things together is important. like, babes. 272: drop outs have more fun 273: love will keep us together 274: lullabies at night, george michael in the morning 275: our first idea was to be the Wet Bandits 276: Do it. 277: love, love me do 278: yeah, baby, that stale popcorn smell riles me right up. 279: Feed me, Seymour 280: Margaret Atwood swears by this recipe. 281: ...that I might fill them with horror so they would know I am the LORD 282: can't stop til I see my name on a blimp - not available as print 283: a man who represents himself has a HERO for a client! 284: I've been meaning to start running again anyway. 285: Watch the gills, baby. 286: Then we will stomp some log houses, am I right guys? 287: Let me tell you! 288: A stranger's just a friend you haven't met. 289: I contain a factory for producing my own prison. 290: I feel exhausted and perfect. 291: The suspense is terrible... I hope it'll last. 292: You can't start a fire without a spark. 293: but even Battleship gets old after 15 years 294: like on TV 295: Wait...maybe I am a xenophobe! 296: and anyway the clown is booked til Wednesday 297: But this doesn't mean an easy A. 298: motherfucker would burn shit down 299: now we'll have that ball room to ourselves! 300: any sufficiently complex system is hackable 301: and tonight is a really good TV night 302: I wish the news had warned me about this 303: Fuck this coy shit. 304: My heart feels funny. I should have taken his stethoscope, too. 305: maybe I'll go back to school! 306: actually, maybe i want to BE her 307: the road to hell is paved with good intentions 308: I am going to be a model, not a crazy. 309: I should invite them for paintball this weekend. And then BAM. 310: The only words for this are my fingers in your mouth. 311: priorities! 312: I guess poor Doctor Internet just tells his neighbours about steampunk 313: People are only really happy when they accept themselves. 314: and I'm not even sure gamma radiation would do anything. 315: that's the same pity you get for people who claim to be happy 316: then who's gay, smartass? 317: It's kinda cute how angry they get about beer ads, though. 318: oh fuck, we're doomed! quick! to the movie theatre! 319: None of those lines seemed to be about you or me. 320: you kids wait here on the shore. 321: _____ 322: Maybe I'll get an ice cream, first! 323: Actually, I'm married. 324: but will she remember how awesome it was? 325: unless they pray to 911? 326: romantic! whether she likes it or not. - not available as print 327: I was a terrible news anchor. 328: I hope that water runs out soon 329: When the earthquake hit, I had an aftershock too. 330: If you do think it is awesome, maybe we could have dinner? 331: Yeah, well that's mace, isn't it? 332: and they do not refer to themselves as nice guys 333: We've been good but we can't last. 334: those with 'something to fall back on' invariably fall back on it. 335: I've never been there, but I know the way. 336: Although, I am pretty tired of telling that story. 337: or I didn't want to see. 338: the sex appeal of lowered expectations! - not available as print 339: _____ 340: i marked on my map where i had my first kiss 341: We can go to the rodeo after I pick up her medicine. 342: the tasty side 343: sorry I could not travel both, and be one traveler 344: won't you believe it it's just my luck 345: you are the rose of my heart 346: you know what you do is wrong 347: _____ 348: i come rough, tough like an elephant tusk. 349: I deserve a new car! 350: family, part one. 351: family, part two. 352: family, part three. 353: family, part four. 354: family, part five. 355: but now my oedipal dreams are way grosser 356: hindsight is bullshit 357: Is that guy even a student here? 358: tell me, where is evil bred, in the heart or in the head? 359: Sure, play another song. I've got nothing better to do. 360: You are terrible hosts. 361: BUY BUY BUY HAHAHA OH MY GOODNESS HELLO OH HELLO THERE 362: go play in someone else's garden, kitty 363: i can tell that we are gonna be friends 364: if you play the opening wrong, the game is already lost. 365: Seriously. Write me. 366: how do we blame THIS on SUVS? 367: if i think her thoughts that is a bit like sex. 368: I guess you can still see with only one eye anyway? 369: That's it. I'm moving out. 370: fuck yes. 371: The Horrible Intelligence of Tree Rats was his unfinished masterpiece 372: Oh please. Like you've never goofed up. 373: _____ 374: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? 375: Between you and me, that license is forged anyway. 376: he whom the prophet spoke of long ago has come. 377: So don't waste time. 378: The apple of our three eyes - Martha being a cyclops. 379: Anyway, I'm off to the gym. 380: If you need any help with the condom, call me. 381: Also, I told them my name was Norma Desmond. 382: Oops!...I did it again 383: Love is stronger than justice. 384: or maybe I could grab that cop's gun! 385: Anyway, get dressed. The funeral's in an hour. 386: Oh listen honey! She's purring again! 387: Oh and I got LA Story on DVD! Oh man! 388: I was happier, dreaming. 389: I'll be the headmaster. 390: NEW GAME. NEW GAME. NEW GAME. 391: You can't in good conscience leave them with Ryan North. 392: Continue? 393: I guess really it's OUR house. 394: it already does 395: only, this time it is hover beads. 396: What's that? I can't hear you. 397: but not in packs, please. 398: I looked up some good ones! 399: what I mean is, would you like to go out to dinner? 400: There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met. 401: a flavor so familiar I no longer taste it. 402: I am undone. 403: Little things are important too. 404: now the collection agencies have armies. 405: That's no reason not to fall in love again. 406: Oh, honey, did we send you to opinion school? 407: Jesus, mom. I have friends coming over. 408: Come on, man. Use your evil cow brains for once. 409: Mommy is trying to work, here. 410: If you like it then you shoulda put a hug on it. 411: life does have a random function! us! 412: Cupcakes for dessert, not deserters. 413: and tell me his opinion on the matter again 414: Now let's go. I have to piddle. 415: heartbreak. heartbreak? is that spelled right? Heartbreak. AUGH 416: I suspect I took that metaphor too literally. 417: But then his sister and I wouldn't have met at the funeral. 418: Man, I hope you smarten up when you hit your teens. 419: You are my best friend. 420: Hey. You're lucky I picked you guys. 421: my last words will be, 'yeah I had that coming.' 422: Well. We will always have Utica. 423: the beast may try to hug you. 424: In bed. 425: THIS is why you don't date teens. 426: We love you, you ignorant prick. 427: the nobel prize for fuzz 428: Way better than stopping to say, 'so it goes.' 429: I want us to gerund, essentially. 430: She's perfect. I'll take two. 431: So I combined the two! 432: and all my wil wheaton podcasts! gone! 433: Now come bail me out. 434: I want it. But will I never want it more? 435: We all got it comin, kid. 436: If that's what you're into. 437: and progress and the future. 438: ...officer 439: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief. 440: He was much better at this. 441: But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. 442: Only love can break your heart. 443: Me fail romance? That's unpossible. 444: Oh, sorry I stopped making payments. The world ended. 445: a sexy international super spy who never cries! 446: Or I could just let her down again. 447: Bustin makes me feel good. 448: and once you see the giggle-porn, well... 449: the end is near 450: Every day I hope to see a moving truck pull in. Or an ambulance. 451: That is why you fail. 452: Happy 40th, Stonewall Riots! 453: You do good work. 454: I believe in ecstatic truth. 455: Down by the river, I shot my baby. 456: oh the movie never ends it goes on and on and on and on 457: Please let apocalypse be this great. Thanks! 458: who said that every wish would be heard and answered? 459: hell is other people. 460: More importantly, who is your favourite Muppet? 461: Why do I do this? Oh god. So much chocolate milk. 462: or, anyway, part of you. 463: or 'forgetting' to buy condoms! 464: These cookies won't last either. We'd better hurry! 465: wait. give me liberty or give YOU death. how about that? 466: Do I tell her now or later? 467: Baby, you put the ass in mass murder. 468: That is what it said under my yearbook picture. 469: Smash the state? Nah. I'll just ignore it and hope it ignores me. 470: and the guilt I expected never came. 471: pain relief 472: And what if you find out later that you're actually cousins? 473: Fact. 474: Yeah. 'Probably.' 475: he is risen. 476: I wish I had the blind faith of an atheist. 477: Sometimes goodbye is better than see you soon. 478: I wouldn't make a very good doctor, for instance. 479: anyway it would be like hating santa claus 480: let's be honest here. 481: Or the police report would have mentioned it. 482: And I will respect you all at once. At my house. 483: if I get them drunk enough. 484: stickers: the only proof I need. 485: Orgasms are great, but why skip the sex? 486: anyway, happy anniversary! 487: if nobody is, that would explain some things. 488: Yet. 489: I've been waiting. 490: We will make everything wrong in the right way. 491: the only scientific instrument I know how to play 492: Video game idea: Stork Hunt 493: I can be more than just me. 494: Pretty and pointless 495: Santa IS real, he's just not what we thought! 496: Oh! Oh man, we should bring an old-timey lantern! 497: The school for girls who like schools for girls 498: she told me i was the best mistake she ever made 499: unless...do they have a candy dish in the car? 500: I have to be me 501: Big fancy money cock assholes. 502: I love cake. But I had some earlier today already. 503: Tenderly. 504: But the first and the middle parts are a-mazing! 505: you know, metaphorically. 506: Do you have to play that harp at 3am? Really? 507: He learned to ride that bicycle just to fool you. 508: I don't know. Maybe I can't. 509: Soon we'll have to telecommute to the bedroom. 510: Now quick! Cut the red wire! 511: And business is good. 512: yeah, me neither 513: My doctor is getting tired of me. 514: Live free or die soft 515: I have been trying conversation, instead. 516: Actually, why don't you just push your own damn button? 517: Anyway, how're you enjoying your retirement? 518: Don't get me wrong. My vagina is awesome. 519: Or would you rather be listed as cause of death? 520: Oh, it's you. You startled me. What? No! We musn't! KISS KISS KISS 521: You know, when I wasn't using it for sex. 522: A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire! 523: We're having a special today. 524: Now we can do all the things I felt bad about doing when I loved you. 525: Maybe they should have thought of that when they were picking teams 526: you cannot ignore the moon dot com